August 16, 2008

You Can't Break What's Not Real.

The room starts spinning, as I clench my fists. I try not tremble, as I bite my tongue. Because blood in my mouth is better than tears on the ground. And after I over analyze everything you've ever said, every look you've ever given me; I'll miss you even more. Press yourself against me, I want to feel your cold heart beating against mine. I spend my nights dreaming of how you will ruin me next. "Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places." And It hurts to feel us drifting apart, I'm afraid that you'll forget me. You made me vulnerable, and I'm scared. There's a switch that gets turned on, and it all stops making sense. I wish things would make sense. I feel everything and nothing all at the same time. "With every goodbye, you learn." Well I've been through many years of school so far, and I have not learned more in those years than I did that night you said goodbye forever. I've learned that the things you once loved could be the things you now hate, that the words "I'm sorry" isn't always going to be enough, and sometimes the one person who wasn't ever supposed to leave, might just surprise you one day and not come back. It wasn't supposed to be like this. And I know the timing sucked, but I'm sorry I can't plan when I'm going to fall in love. Could you hear my side of the story and still look me in the eyes and tell me I'm crazy for thinking that you cared? With your head held high, keep pretending that you're okay without me. I can't stop saying I'm sorry for what happened, even though I know it's not going to change anything. My heart converses with my head and they're arguing over you. I swim through time, and I'd give anything to reach the shore. To make the hurt stop. And just because it hurts, doesn't mean that it was necessarily love. Even to this day I still don't think you love her. You can kiss her a million more times even though you're thinking of me, I don't mind. So you say you can't break love? That's ironic, because you also can't break what's not real. -written by me.