December 8, 2010

I Am Me

I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin,
a niece, a grandchild and a friend.
I am an acquaintance who is never noticed
and would rather stay that way.
I want to be more than what I am,
but I don’t have the confidence to do so.
I come from the city that never sleeps,
but I would rather spend my free time sleeping.
I am a gymnast who is way too critical of everything she does.
I wish I could say I am a lover and not a fighter,
but my temper flares when I get upset.
I come from a so-called "rich" town
that can’t afford to give out rulers in their math classes.
I care way too much about way too many things,
and there are never enough hours in the day
for all the things I wish to accomplish.
I want to write something beautiful;
something that everyone could relate to,
but my emotions come out faster
than my hand can write them down.
I have been writing ever since I can remember,
but my thoughts tend to sound so much better
in all of the poems that I didn’t write.
I am learning that petty high school drama is over-rated.
I am ready to grow up.
But I am afraid of the future and what it brings,
time is moving way too fast.
I don’t like scary movies and I am terrified of the dark.
Maybe I am not so ready to grow up.
Every emotion is flying out all at once.
I don’t know how to say what I feel when I feel it.
And I always think of better things to say
after the moment to say them has already passed.
My past is so intricately woven
because I've built up these walls and I refuse to let anyone in.
Most of the people I have let in have stabbed me in the back and left.
During these past 4 years in high school
I’ve made some of my best friends and my worst enemies
But I’m not sorry for anything I’ve done in the past
because I’ve always stayed true to myself.
I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin,
a niece, a grandchild and a friend.
I am who I am, and no one is going to change me.


written April 23, 2010 but I forgot to post it.