The Problem; Me.

We both enjoyed talking again.
The problem; I was falling for you.
We both liked being friends.
The problem; I wanted to be more.
My friend told you I liked you.
The problem; you had a girlfriend.
You told me you liked me too.
The problem; you liked your girlfriend just as much.
Your girlfriend broke up with you.
The problem; you weren't ready for a relationship.
You were going to ask me out soon.
The problem; I couldn't wait any longer.
We were finally together.
The problem; I was too attached.
You got grounded for a month.
The problem; I missed you.
You finally got ungrounded.
The problem; We couldn't hang out.
We got into a fight because of it.
The problem; I sent you over the edge.
You wouldn't talk to me.
The problem; I was so annoying.
You broke up with me.
The problem; I couldn't let it go.
We both said that we could never be with anyone else.
The problem; I didn't lie.
We both promised to stay together forever.
The problem; forever was too short.
So now we're nothing.
The problem; Me
-written by me.

I'm sorry I can't just unlove you.

I can go through everything that has happened between us.
It's like one of those bad movies.
You've seen it so many times and you know all the words,
and you don't know why you watch it over and over, but you do.
Everyday I make sure to watch the "bad movie,"
so I don't forget. I don't want to forget.
And it's funny because I seem to watch,
the bad parts more than the good parts.
Each day thinking how I could have changed what happened.
You're moving on and I can tell.
But I'm stuck watching this same bad movie. all alone.
It's like one of those silent, black and white movies.
and I'm in the middle of it, watching myself screw up.
I scream but no one hears me. I cry but no one sees.
I watch us lay on my bed. And I touch your face. I can feel the warmth.
It fast fowards to when we're not a "we" anymore.
I watch myself watch you walk down the hall.
The me in the movie just stares at the unfamiliar face,
and starts to tear a little.
The real me runs up to you, stops, and stares as well.
The look on the real me is blank and confused.
I reach out and touch your face.
Your warmth is gone. Your face is unfirmiliar and cold.
I'm watching myself get my heart broken.
But there's nothing I can do.
Everything is in fast foward but our unfirmiliar faces.
I've changed for you and you've changed as well, only not for me.
You're different now, and I hate it.
I'm lost without you, and you know it. Everything is wrong.
But still, I watch myself cry.
I watch myself become more and more lost.
Everyday I watch us in the hall
Sometimes you notice me, most times you don't.
The movie me doesn't bother with anything anymore.
The real me screams louder.
"GO TALK TO HIM. TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM. GET HIM BACK"
Movie me hears this time.
Looks up and says, "give up. It's hopeless."
The real me is my heart,
Watching the bad things happen, wanting him back.
The movie me is my head,
Knowing there is no chance, gradually giving up.
But still I watch the movie.
Never letting go of the memories that mean so much to me.
"I can't unthink about you.
I can't unhear all those words, that meant so much to me.
Or unsay all the words, that i thought meant so much to you.
I wish i could unremember, all the things my heart has been through.
But i'm finding out it's impossible to do. I'm sorry I can't just unlove you."
-written by me.

More favorite quotes.

• "To realize the value of 10 years, ask a newly divorced couple. To realize the value of 4 years, ask a graduate. To realize the value of 1 year, ask a student who failed the final exam. To realize the value of nine months, ask a mother who gave birth to a new Born. To realize the value of 1 month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week, ask an editorof a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of 1 Hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of 1 minute ask aperson who has missed the train. To realize the value of one second, ask a person who has survived a car accident. To realize the value of 1 millisecond, ask the person who has just won silver in the Olympics. To realize the value of a friend, lose one."
• "I want to scream everything he has ever done to hurt me, his is unspeakably cruel. But I am too desperatley in love, and I'll never say a word."
• "and why do people think it's okay for them to do horrible things to others, as long as they apologize afterwards?"
• "and then her eyes screamed the saddest apology this side of town has ever heard."
• "I can't unthink about you. I can't unhear all those words, that meant so much to me. Or unsay all the words that I thought meant so much to you. I wish I could unremember all the things my heart has been through. But i'm finding out it's impossible to do. I'm sorry I can't just unlove you."
• "it's funny how hello is always accompaniedwith goodbye, It's funny how good memories can start to make you cry. It's funny how forever never really seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot your past. It's funny how friends can just leave you when you're down. It's funny how when you need someone they're never around. It's funny how people change & think they're so much better, it's funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter." It's funny how people forgive even though they can't forget, It's funny how one lonely night can contain so much regret. It's funny how ironic lifeturns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is none of that seems funny to me."
• "Pile up too many tomorrow's, & you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays."
• "as she walked down the gloomy street, it was as if the world had shunned her. & tears of rejection lay, unnoticed on her sunken cheeks."
• "I wonder if the sun has risen where you are. It's morning time, i miss your hands on my skin; this bed's too big without you."
• "it's the tragic story of a shallow boy with the girl who see's way too much in him. The story of the boy who turned her downbecause she just wasn't pretty enough."
• "people ask me why it's so hard to trust anyone & i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise."
• "I know that I should just let go, walk away, and not look back. But, I don't think I could handle knowing that you wouldn't care if I did."

The best part of believe is the lie.

I can see it now…
He’s asking her out in person, unlike me who couldn’t wait.
They talk more, unlike me who did all the talking.
He calls her more, because she’s more fun to talk to.
They hang out more, because he’s falling for her.
He goes over her house, they lay on her bed... and they kiss gently.
She slides out of her shirt, he awkwardly takes off his.
He caresses her stomach and unhooks her bra.
He runs his hands through her hair and kisses her forehead.
She lays her head on his chest and listens to his heartbeat.
He tells her he loves her, and this time, he means it.
They go further than me and him ever went.
And he’s happier with her.
I couldn’t give him it all, she could.
She trusts him, he trusts her.
I see him in school and we exchange glances.
My look says “I miss you, when are you coming back?”
His look is blank and unfamiliar.
She’s standing next to him, smile on her face.
My eyes scream "you promised!"
But he doesn't even notice me anymore, I'm just another face.
Promises are not made to be broken, but they were that night.
That night he broke my heart. my everything gone away never to return.
As I sit on my bed where everything happened between us,
the beginning to the end.
the silence is earth shattering, but I like it.
I can still hear all those words, those words that I put so much faith in.
those words that turned into lies.
But it's not a lie, if you believe it.
And oh how I miss you, and the loneliness hurts so much.
I hope you're happy with her.
Be careful though darling, you're believing her lies too.
-written by me.

Here's to all the girls...

Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out, thinking it would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "what if". This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time." Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like crap, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again. -Unknown.