June 11, 2011

A Few of my Favorite Things.

The only things in life that matter,
are the things that matter most.
It's feeling the wind on your face.
Waking up refreshed after a good night sleep.
It's having someone compliment you.
The subtle touch on the arch of your back.
Woven hands, even if our palms are sweaty.
Roses. Just because.
The smell of a beautiful boy.
Waking up to a text that says "Hello Beautiful."
The taste of my mom's pasta with sauce.
When my brother talks to me like I'm his friend.
When my dad sings our song.
Doing gymnastics.
Getting an A on a paper,
after working on it for weeks.
Being in love. Completely and utterly in love.
The feeling when you can tell someone
is actually listening to you
when you're telling them a story.
Sharing and inside joke with someone.
Hugs. Kisses on the forehead. Cuddling.
The awkwardness of first dates,
but the comfort that comes on each date after.
Smiling to yourself after reading a cute text.
Feeling good about yourself.
They are the things that matter most,
Because they are the only things that matter.
-written by me

June 8, 2011

Bring On The Pain

The skeletons in my closet are over flowing
and I just want them to go away.
And I try so hard to make everything work
but the skeletons are getting bigger, and the space is getting smaller.
The door won't close anymore, and I can not bare to look.
My thoughts are thick with emotions,
and they cling to me like a wet t-shirts.
I can't even begin to explain what you put me through.
and now I'm living life so violently,
I used to eat too much and now I'm not eating at all.
Sleep seems to come easy, but waking up is hard.
Life was at a stand still and then it starting spinning again,
but the spinning was nothing new.
I got hurt. Really terribly hurt.
And when that happened,
something inside me shut off.
Life doesn't feel the same anymore.
And I've learned that "time doesn't heal the pain.
It just gives you... more time.
Time to push it to the back of your mind,
and time to learn how to deal with it.
But the pain, it always stays."
I just want the pain to go away.
I want the pain from everything I've ever felt to go away.
But I guess that "numbing the pain for a while,
will only make it worse when you finally feel it."
In that case, bring on the pain.
-written by me