And All of This for Him.

She fell in, and he fell out, but it doesn't matter anymore. Because she needed him to catch her, but he was no longer there. He was off doing other things. And the promise he made is a kind of lie now. And in her opinion, lying is the worst. But how he acts, and what he says, and what he does, and who he is. They don't line up anymore. She doesn't know him anymore. She has so much left to say to him. And all she ever wishes was that things were different. The envy is killing her, and it's obvious. Someday, she's going to cross his mind. But he'll brush the thought away, like it was dust on the desk in his room, and in the drawer of that desk, hides all the things she's ever given for him. The Cd's, the letters, everything. He hid them so he'll never have to remember. His secret is that deep down he misses her. Her secret is hidden in an envelope that she wrote his name on in big black letters. She hid it in her desk, where she knew no one would find it, not even her. She hid it so she wouldn't have to remember either. But unfortunately, all she can remember is all she can't forget. Everything she was afraid of happening, happened. The things she loved became the things she misses. And she wonders how many times people forgive, just so they don't have to loose someone, even if that person doesn't deserve forgiveness. And after all of this, she doesn’t know much. But she does know that, someone doesn't have to be perfect, to be everything you need. And even if that person doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you will forgive them, because in your eyes, they are perfect. She has known such great pain; nothing like self inflicted wounds, but in her opinion worse. She has been unloved and unwanted. Let down and stabbed in the back. She has cried countless tears over one boy or another. And she just wishes that someone would understand. She has forgiven everyone that has ever hurt her because she believes that being nice to someone is easier than being mean. She believes that the world would be so much simpler if everyone could just be nice to one another, but that would only happen if life was perfect. Unfortunately, life is not perfect and the real world is an unforgiving place. Don Miller says "we are called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding." But it is a peculiar nature of this unforgiving world to go on spinning no matter what sort of heartbreak is happening. She fell in, and he fell out, but it doesn't matter anymore. He is off doing other things and forgetting to remember all the good memories but selecting to remember all the bad. All she can remember is all she can’t forget; both memories good and bad. Broken paper hearts and fallen angels. And at times, she can't see right in front of her. Wasted moments, trying to be someone she never wanted to be. And all of this for him. -written by me.