I Don't Think I'm Ever Coming Back.

And it's funny because I need you now more than ever, and you don't even care. It's funny that I need anyone right now more than ever and everyone has other things to worry about. And I realize now that you should not put all your faith and trust in one person because they are sure to let you down. I've learned that happy endings don't come to everyone, even the ones who need it the most. But a good friend told me that if it's not okay, than it's not the end. Then I guess it's not the end for me because things are anything but okay. I wish things were okay. I wish things weren't as they turned out to be. And I wish you still cared. But I've wished for a lot of things in my life that never came true. And the word "us" no longer exist, but then again the word "us" was never really in the picture to begin with. And if I said that it cracks me up that you say every line you've ever fed me was a lie, I'd be lying just as plainly as you were. Because the truth is, you really hurt me. And the horrible part is that you don't even care. I'm dead to you, and you claim that everything you've ever felt for me is gone. It's cold at night without the warmth of your words to put me to sleep. I lay awake thinking of you with her... She's cooler than me because she drives, She's skinner than me because she runs, and she's blonde but you're convinced she has a brain. She shows up one day when you're home alone. You haven't had sex in months and you've been fighting a lot lately. She leads you to your room and shuts the door behind you. She kisses you passionately and you love it. She glides out of her little black dress as you take off the white polo shirt I bought you and they both hit the ground without a second though. She unbuttons your light blue jeans, and they fall on top of her dress and your shirt. All clothes are off now as you fuck the girl you claim to love. Your parents shouldn't be home for another hour so you get to make up for lost time. And if you told anyone your relationship was healthy, it would be a lie because the only time you're not fighting is when you're having sex. And after all we've been through I still can't say that I got the boy in the end. I can't eat, I can't sleep. And I'm still the last thing to cross your mind when you get up every morning, If I'm lucky enough to cross your mind at all. So if this is goodbye forever I wanted to wish you happiness with her, because I do still love you with every bone in my body. And when it comes down to it the most important thing to me is that you are happy. And I still believe you're wrong for each other and I hope you find that out the hard way. But for now I'll sit here and pretend like I wouldn't rather be in your arms than here writing this. I'll pretend like I don't miss you even though I do. And I'll pretend like I never fell for you in the first place, even if I hit rock bottom and I don't think I'm ever coming back. -written by me.