July 10, 2008

If You're Happy or Not.

And after spilling her heart out all he could say was that he didn't want to talk about it. she figured it was because he knew the truth was too hard for her to hear, and that she'd do something he'd regret if he told her what the truth actually was. And that's right because she asked and her heart wished on the answer that should have been said but her head knew the answer that was to come. And she was abruptly overwhelmed by a feeling that she was more than used to feeling by now, but it was a little different this time, because she really did love him. And all he said was that nothing anyone could say would change it. She thinks about hurting herself. It would be better than her heart getting hurt and then maybe he would see. Lifting up her arm to show him several scars that scream of self inflicted wounds. But he also said that nothing can break love. And it's true, nothing can. because even though he broke my heart with his hurtful words, i still love him. But for someone who wants to be a writer, I can't put into words what I feel or why I feel it. And it's funny because I never can, and I'm still not looking for another carreer. I think it's because since no one ever loved me. The only thing that ever made sence to me was the things I read. The quotes. The song lyrics. And I guess, my mind set is that if there are people in this world who helped me get through my hard times with what they wrote, maybe I can help people too. I want to be the song someone listens to and feels. I want to be the quote someone is moved by. I want to be the book someone opens and learns from. Maybe they'll learn from the countless mistakes I have made. And yeah, I still want him. And yeah I'll probably wait. But I still wish things would have turned out differently. Or better yet, I wish I've never seen movies like Cinderella or Snow White. What is a happily ever after anyway? My stories would never have an abnormally happy endings like all those fairytales did becuase even if you do get your happy ending it's never as obnoxiously happy as it was in those fairytales we so adored as children. And I don't know where I'm going with this. But she is heartbroken and she's not just gonna let this go. And she's sorry that she's not good enough but she's not sorry that she isn't going to change for anything or anyone. So there you go, not all stories have happy endings. Not everything's going to be butterflies and rainbows. And not everyone is going care if you're happy or not. -written by me

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm in love with this.