Strength (noun) - mental power or courage

"It was him not fighting for me.
I gave him every ultimatum and he let me walk away.
I didn't want a life separate from him,
But that's all he would give me.
It's like he's driving a car,
And I just want to be in the passenger seat.
But he's locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper.
And I'm not even asking him to open the door for me,
Just leave it unlocked and say "come in"
But he won't even do that.
So here I am, hanging on to the bumper.
And life goes on and the car goes on.
And I'm getting really badly bruised.
And I'm hitting potholes.
And it hurts.
It really hurts."
And I wish I had the strength to let go of the bumper.
But I can't.
Because I'm not like him.
Because if I was driving,
I wouldn't make him hang on to the bumper,
like he's making me.
I would never want to put him through that pain.
Because I know how horrible it feels.
I wish he would just open the door.
Because it hurts.
It really hurts.
And what's even worse is that I know
why he won't open the door.
He won't open the door because of me.
Because of who I am.
And I don't understand because he used to love me.
But I guess time has changed me for the worst.
So I'll wish on every lucky penny, every shooting star,
I'll blow out the candles and make the same birthday wish
I have made for the past 6 years.
So even though I have hung on for so long,
because of what time has done to us and to him,
He locked the door because of what time has done to us and to me.
And I'll keep holding on to that bumper, for as long as I can.
Because I'm not giving up on him like he gave up on me,
Even though each bruise is getting bigger,
and each pothole is getting deeper.
I don't have the strength to let him go.
-written by me